Replace “high school” with “the Real World”

11. February 2015 by grace
Categories: ...so this is my life, and i quote..., no one here thinks i'm funny | Leave a comment

A long overdue update…

#1

Long time, no blog. Where do the days go?

#2
Remember the movie, “Groundhog’s Day”?

I feel like that pretty much sums up my work life.

#3

Probably a good summery of my personal life too.

#4

My poor pup, Teddy, has been sick on and off , since mid-November. We go back to the vet next week so hopefully we can find a long-term solution.

Meanwhile, it’s breaking my heart.

#5

My mother, The Diva, has nearly fully recovered from her knee replacement surgery, back in October.

#6

Speaking of work, I have a new office. Not to brag or anything like that, but a corner office with windows. And a stunning view of the parking lot and the interstate.

#7

Last week, after a huge snowfall, I got out the snowblower out and began to snowblow the driveway.

it’s important to know that my dogs don’t care for winter much – or snow that is deeper than they are tall.

So, during the snowstorm, they did their business in the driveway, which I had cleared out the after the last snowstorm. I have even taken to creating paths across the lawn for them in the snow to make the whole experience easier for them. After 10+ inches overnight, the dogs had no choice but to do their business in the driveway and hurry back in. that evening, after work, I got the blower started and within a few feet out of the garage, got hit with something hard and frozen. In the face. It was windy and everything coming out of the snowblower was coming back at me.

And so, I got hit. Hit with a piece of solid frozen dog poop. That’s right.

Because, you’ve met me.

#8

That’s a good summary of how things are going. Hit in the face with sh!t.

True story.

#9

More soon. I promise.

09. February 2015 by grace
Categories: 'in the hood, ...so this is my life, have you met me? | Leave a comment

Ugh

Unable to blog- problems posting. Working on fixing.

07. February 2015 by grace
Categories: have you met me? | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Email of the Day: Problmes

From my mother, The Diva:

The Facebook still isn’t coming up on my iPad I powered off again but it just spins. So now I won’t know who likes Walmart or if a baby elephant was adopted by a mother tiger to nurse

19. January 2015 by grace
Categories: ...so this is my life, the diva | Leave a comment

Text Message of The Day: Gym

From my mother via text…

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06. January 2015 by grace
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Happy 2015

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31. December 2014 by grace
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Name That Tune

“It’s strange that Bruce Springsteen would be looking for his gray whore,” said my mother.

I was driving my car and looked at her under the corner of my eye. She was sitting in the passenger seat. My iPhone was connected to the car and it was playing songs through the car stereo.

With a sigh, I said, “The song is called ‘my beautiful reward.’ Not ‘my gray whore.’”

My mother said, “I don’t think so.”

There was no point in arguing and I decided to let her continue thinking that Springsteen had written a song about a gray whore – whatever that might mean.

15. December 2014 by grace
Categories: the diva | Leave a comment

Oldies

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12. December 2014 by grace
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True Story

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10. December 2014 by grace
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Smacked In The Face

You know by now that I have a special talent for during graceful and delicate things.

I mean it’s hardly a secret.

(How’s that for foreshadowing?)

—————-

Last night, my dogs woke me up to go outside around midnight or 1 AM. It’s totally within reason from their perspective and tiny bladders; after all I think I fell sleep on the couch before 9 AM.

Anyway, after our witching-hour adventure into the backyard, I couldn’t fall back to sleep. I picked up my iPad to check email and browse all those great distractions available because of the Internet.

Pictured if you will; I’m lying flat on my back in the darkness of my bedroom with the glow of the iPad as my only source of light. I am actually holding the iPad up, above my head. I’m wearing my reading glasses, because I’m old, and I’m scrolling through one cyber Monday deal after the other email. The trash icon is getting a lot of action.

And then all of the sudden, unbeknownst to me, my iPad slips out of the case it’s in, and that I’m holding on to, and hits me directly in the face. My nose is bleeding. Blood is in my mouth. And I think my mouth is broken. There are bits of my teeth in my mouth. I can feel it.

All I can think is this is freaking unbelievable.

And ‘why do things always happen to me?’

I curse and get up, trying to get to the bathroom without getting mood everywhere between my bed and the bathroom sink. My dogs are snoozing away.

Those f-ing bastards.

I feel like there are bits of my shattered teeth everywhere in my mouth. I wasn’t sure if most of the blood was from my nose from my mouth.

I guess it really didn’t matter.

It’s 2 AM. And I have managed to hurt myself in my bed in the dark alone…

… Sure why not.

Because you have met me.

I turned on the bathroom light, trying to focus, not waiting to adjust to the light, to see to see how bad my mouth is.

And I convince myself it feels worse than it really is.

Of course, once I get the bleeding stopped and I’m back in bed, I have to Google ‘chipped tooth accident’ to find out if this is an emergency and am I going to lose my front teeth. (I am not longer holding the iPad over my head, by the way).

And then I wonder, is there a 24 hour dentist around? I mean it’s 2 AM! Not your typical dentist hours.

I’m also wondering, ‘does my insurance cover something like this?’

Can I sue Apple? I mean the product hurt me. Literally, it smacked me in the face.

Damn it.

I remember something about having to put missing teeth in milk.

I don’t have milk but find myself wondering if fat-free French vanilla yogurt would count? Would coffee creamer count?

Sigh.

In the end, it wasn’t as bad as it felt. (That may just be a lie I continue to tell myself). I have an appointment with the dentist to look into getting my teeth fixed or filed down a bit. My eyes haven’t turn black and blue yet so I don’t think my nose is broken.

And, I’ll be asking for a new iPad case for Christmas. One that’ll hold my iPad in place a bit better. No matter the angle.

02. December 2014 by grace
Categories: 'in the hood, ...so this is my life, have you met me? | Leave a comment

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