Text I just for from my mother:
I have been having these vivid dreams every night. Last night I had sex with Robin Williams in Paris
My father never had any fashion sense.
He did have a classic engineer look about him. Even in his days off or family vacations, he’d still wear the button down Oxford type shirts. Pens in his front pocket were a given no matter the season. In the summer, he would migrate to short-sleeve button down shirts, accented by his cut-off blue jeans and always, always black socks with tennis shoes.
I thought back in the day, he was doing it just to embarrass me for life.
I mean, really, how hard is it to know that black socks should never been worn with tennis shoes?
I was tormented.
It turns out that his wardrobe knew no seasonality, year after year. He just wasn’t wired to care about things that were important to the next person. I was thinking about this the other day, as I watched a group of older men, sitting in a coffee shop, as if they owned the place. In my mind, I knew these old men met there daily. It was their retirement dream. A few of these old men were rocking the black socks and Velcro tennis shoe look.
And I was sad for these simple things, like enjoying retirement, that my father was robbed of.
Of days like that, of a simple life, and so much more. My father was robbed of turning into a old man. Of wandering around his house with his bathrobe and slippers all day long. Of knowing grandchildren. Of seeing the nieces and nephews become adults. He was robbed of watching his children’s life change.
And of continually embarrassing his children, because no matter how old you get, your parents can still embarrass you. (He’d be proud to know my mother is handling that job on her own very well, by the way).
There are so many things and ordinary days we take for granted in life. I guess we never know until they’re gone how so very unordinary these days really are.
As for me, I know whenever I see black socks in the summer, I’ll think of my father and either smile or cry. Or maybe a bit of both. Because, you’ve met me.
So – it’s been awhile.
Since I was last writing here, my car got t-boned. With me and my pups in the car.
The airbags went off.
My engine crushed.
It was totaled.
I went to the ER and follow-up doctor appointments. I have a brace on my wrist. Bruises for days. It hurts to breath. I have water on the knee from the swelling and two dogs that are very clingy since the accident.
Good news is that they seem ok.
It was an awful accident, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon when the last thing on my mind was getting hit.
My car was towed to some insurance auction yard (without my knowledge). Stuff was missing when I finally tracked down my car.
But the accident could have been so much worse. All of it could have been. It’s amazing how things can change in a matter of seconds.
On a good news front, my mother is totally fine from her surgery.
And the summer, though the weather is mild, the days have been busy and beautiful.
More soon… as soon as my wrist stops hurting.
“My tests,” said my mother, “all came back normal.”
And with a sigh, added, “I’m not sure I like being ‘normal.’”
I laughed. “There is nothing normal about you. No worries there.”
A few weeks ago, my mother and I drove over to Sugar Don’s lake house, a few hours drive, South of Chicago. (Sugar Don is my older brother’s former partner). On the first night there, my mother, in her mid-60s, began having ‘female’ issues. There was bleeding where bleeding hadn’t been in nearly a decade. There was also pain and cramping.
I tried to tell her that sometimes being around gay men could trigger these things… she did not find me all that funny.
Her problems continued throughout the long weekend and on Monday morning, she called her doctor. The doctor was equally concerned and got her in right away for an exam. She had an ultrasound (and then an internal ultrasound) and they did a biopsy. Now we are waiting for those results. A week to ten-days.
Meanwhile. the bleeding hasn’t stopped or slowed. The doctor said that she has all the symptoms of uterine cancer.
So there is that…
Since writing that first part a few weeks ago, my mother, our beloved Diva, has had surgery. And the morning of the surgery, we got word that the first round of tests showed no sign of cancer. The doctor did find one polyp that they are sending out for a biopsy but she is doing well, resting at home.
Hopefully, she will be on her way to a full recovery, which means no bleeding, and like new in no time.
A few weeks ago, on a beautiful Saturday morning, my dogs and I were up early. I like to take them for walks along one lakefront parks when it’s a really beautiful morning – so the boys and I hurried out the door to our favorite spot along the lake. We arrived to find it closed – some sort of carnival was happening there. And though it was still early morning, and there wasn’t a carnie in sight, the parking lot was closed to traffic. There was no way I could get anywhere near the park.
So, down the lakeshore road we go, past the huge mansions along the lake, a bit further out of town.
I stopped at the next park, not really known for nice walking paths but it would do. It was a beautiful morning and not too many people where out. I was surprised.
The dogs and I circled the park a few times and then headed back to the car.
That’s when a man tried to get me to come over to his car.
He had rolled down his window and he was trying to wave me over. I shook my head, ‘no’ and kept walking. Also, I couldn’t understand what he was saying.
And then, he started to get out of his car, telling me that he needed my dog(s) to save his marriage or something like that. He may have been crying. He may have looked at tad bit homicide. Again, I couldn’t understand him exactly -something about he was just going to take my dogs home so he wouldn’t get divorced – but knew it was headed down a crazy road in the high-speed lane fast so I got to my car, a few parking spots away from him, and put the dogs safely in. I hurried and got into my car and the man got back into his car. I was going to leave but then realized that this man could follow me home.
So, I called the police.
By the time the police showed up, I was pretty upset. And I was mad at myself to even have allowed myself to get sucked into a conversation with some weirdo (but you know, you’ve met me). The idea of this man watching my dogs and I and the idea of someone stealing my dogs seriously freaked me out. The man was gone when the police arrived, his car was still there – one police officer was taking my statement, a few other ones were heading to the beach to look for the man. I just wanted to get home so once the police officer told me I could leave, I was out of there fast. I will never be going back to that park, in case anyone wondered.