You guys – the shit is getting real here in the 216 area code. Keep the police and public safety crews in your thoughts in the coming few weeks.
In fun news, here’s one of the many billboards that have popped up over town.
Over the weekend, I found myself in a parade.
I was meeting my cousin, who was on a whirlwind trip home before she moves to Boise in a few weeks. We had a meeting place for breakfast and as I was driving there, I clearly remember seeing a girl with fairy wings on her back. And a man walking down the street, holding her hand, dressed as Uncle Sam.
In the next block, there were people sitting in lawn chairs along the curb. It was such an odd thing for 9 am in the morning. And then, there were all sorts of flashing lights and police cars. I slowed but the police waved me through. I thought about turning down a side street, just trying to get to the plaza I was meeting my cousin in, but with the wave of the policeman’s hand, I continued onward down the main street. There were more and more people. They were serious about this thing; so many brought their own folding lawn chairs.
So many dressed in red, white and blue…
… oh … oh shit.
I realized it was the 4th of July – the one holiday that every town in America celebrates with a parade. I was now accidentally in one of those parades. I heard a high school marching band warming up somewhere in the distance. I lowered my sunglasses from the top of my head and hoped that the out-of-tune music was a sign that the parade hadn’t officially started. Still, the small children on the roadside waved. Despite being awesome and cool in my Nissan Rogue, I am hardly parade material.
But, you’ve met me. Of course I am accidentally in a parade.
I was waved down the road by another set of policemen, clearing me through another intersection. I couldn’t turn off the main road, errr, parade route, if I wanted to. Ahead, I finally spotted the marching band, still on the curb. Their music was still out-of-tune.
I told myself I was one of the last cars to get through. Before the parade began.
And then, just ahead of me, I realized an old-fashion firetruck was going real slow on the road, with older men throwing out what looked like candy. On the parade route. Ahead of me. A trolley was in front of the firetruck, also throwing out some sort of candy to the parade viewers. I looked around the inside of my car and for a moment, wondering if anyone wanted crumpled up napkins or old receipts from the passenger side floorboard. Probably not, I assumed and knowing my luck, I would be ticketed for littering. But not for impersonating a parade vehicle.
AlI could do, besides wonder if a normal person might not have taken so long to realize what was happening, was wave back at the people on the curb until i was past all this.
Nothing warms the heart like waking up to a text that says “I love you.”
Except when it’s from a number you don’t recognize.
Mom: What a scam The Daytime Jeopardy is just reruns of the evening show
Me: you should probably write Alex. and tell him he’s a big faker.
Mom: Maybe even my senator as I have his phone number
So things have been a bit crazy here in the 216. What with a national championship for the first time in 50-plus years. This image is from the 1.3 million people who showed up to the Cleveland Cavs victory parade.
OMG – hello.
There is so much to share.
First of all – I cannot believe I have been away so long. I have over 1000 drafts of posts but I never ever get around to finishing them.
I know. I know – long time no blog. My bad.
I was on vacation recently. We rented a seaside cottage near Mystic, Connecticut. As in ‘Mystic Pizza.’ it was an adorable town and I’d go back any time. Ah but of course there was a ‘have you met me moment.’ Of course there was. The dogs were with us and I found a nearby dog park, rated 5 out of 5 bones on the BringFido app so one morning, Blair, Tyler and I headed off to the dog park. It was huge, almost no one was there and I fell. Blair would later describe it as watching a tree fall.
I didn’t even have the time to put out my hands to break the fall.
Because, you have met me, I landed face down in a pile of dust.
The only saving grace was that I did not land in a pile of dog poop.
A few days later, it hurt to move. To breath. To laugh.
After that trip, Tyler and I gave my mother a tour of New York City. She had never been and was overwhelmed with the lights and people at Times Square at midnight on a random Tuesday. She saw the Statue of Liberty. We sat along the banks of the Hudson and watched the sunset on all the buildings from Hoboken.
How about this crazy election stuff?
My mother, The Diva, has been hosting a community organizer for the Democratic party at her house for the last month or so. He’s a bright, articulate young man who is so passionate about all things going on in the world today. I am very worried for his personal safety come the RNC here next month.
My dogs- still adorable.
These days, I spend more time in excel than I do in any Adobe product software, this breaks my heart. I might have to learn what a pivot table is, even.
No one ever cares about fonts.
It took me a week to get back to finishing this post. Seriously, I last worked on this a week ago last Friday. A week later, I remembered that I never finished updating this or sharing out the ramblings.
More soon. I hope. There is so much to share.
Yard work does not become me.
Last weekend, I dumped 18 bags of black mulch around the various neglected flowerbeds and edges of the backyard. Five days later, I still have traces of black around my fingernails and skin. I have washed my hands hundreds of times. You couldn’t tell at all.
But I think the effort was worth it, the backyard looks better. Oh – and of course as soon as I got done with all that, my little white dogs rolled in it. they’re now a nice shade of gray in certain spots.
Speaking of the old ‘hood, last weekend, I went to my neighbor’s bagpipe band fundraiser. My mother, who was dragged along to the event, kept track of how many times we heard ‘Danny Boy.’
I think after the fifth or sixth time, she stopped counting.
“How do we make this suck less?” I asked the producer, while on a video shoot last week.
“Marry it.” he said, without missing a beat.
The crew, young kids fresh out of college, mostly, erupted in laughter.
So… it’s been awhile.
It was my intention to get back here at least weekly. That did not happen. The hours just slip away. And when I have a moment to sit down and get out my laptop, there ALWAYS seems to be a dog belly in need of a rub.
Sometimes there are two dog bellies that need attention.
Who am I kidding, it’s all the time.
In the continuing drama that my street has turned into in the old neighborhood, one morning this week, I was out walking the dogs when the angry man on the corner house came out of his side door, yelling, slamming doors, etc. He then went back into the house and then out again as the dogs and I were heading back to my house. Because his house is on the corner, at an angle, I had a full view of this from the street. The whole neighborhood did, for the record. By the time I got the dogs into the house, the man’s wife was outside yelling, ‘he has a gun call the police.’ over and over. At the top of her lungs.
So I did.
It took me two times before I successfully dialed 911 for the record. More proof that I am really good in a crisis. A few hours later, at work, I think my hands finally stopped shaking.
Because, you know. You’ve met me.
My mother has abandoned us once again, for two weeks, so I have been trying to run home at lunch time and let the dogs out. Anyway, the other day, I planned to pick up lunch for myself and some coworkers from an a soup and salads from this amazing (and vegan) place near my house, called the Souper Market. Anyway, it is beyond lovely outside and when I got back to work, I took the elevator up to the 3rd floor because my hands were full and this older woman gets on and asks me if its nice outside.
I say its lovely and I think winter is over. We chat about the weather forecast. I said, its hard to care about global warming when we had such a mild winter
She says to me, ‘ global warming is made up. Totally made up by liberals and hippies. Donald trump says so.’
I weep for humanity.. I couldn’t even respond – I think I was in shock.
So we booked a vacation to Martha’s Vineyard. We thought I’d be a great place to explore for a long weekend and maybe, make further plans for a week there somewhere down the road. And then, I discovered that we couldn’t get the car to the island – the one ferry that takes cars was sold out. And then, the house rental was canceled.
Planning is exhausting work.
I am going to start a twitter account for things the engineers around me say. So so so very loud.
As an example, one just used Siri to send a message to his wife. To check the frig. He thinks he brought a sweet onion this weekend.
So… Cleveland is going to host the Republican Convention. I know lots of people that will be renting their house for thousands of dollars for the week. I would rent mine but the last thing in the world I want is a republican staying in my home. I know, it’s a tough life.
Also. I think you can expect to see riots come mid-July. Good times here. At least it will be warm so all the protesters (from both sides) will be warm when sleeping outside. Every hotel within a 90-minute drive from downtown is already booked.
It will be an interesting summer here.
Hope to be back soon. Happy Spring.
I think. There is snow in the forecast, so who knows.