From my mother:
Washing all bedding,mattress pad,blankets ,etc Those two little “fuckers” spend half of their time in my bed.
You know that feeling when you wake up and remember a dream but just for a few moments. It’s a fleeting memory and you know soon as you open your eyes or move, the dream will be gone.
That seems to happen to me a lot. Except for one day this week. I had this dream and I woke up remembered it as clear as day.
And I realized my dreams are incredibly, so so incredibly boring. Even in my dreams, I seem to be boring.
My dream was that I changed the font setting on my iPhone to be bold.
100% true story. And now that I’ve done that in real life, I suppose my dreams have been fulfilled.
And honestly it’s not nearly as rewarding as I expected. Except that I can read stuff on my phone very clearly without any sort of reading glasses.
But as for realizing my dreams, I think I expected more.
I saw the most amazing thing this morning on my short commute to work.
Where two highways divide and traffic is always crazy, with people crossing multiple lanes at one time, a State Trooper was there to witness a car cut across three lanes of traffic and cut me off, drive on emergency/berm lane and almost hit the trooper’s car. I looked at the trooper, wondering if he was going to do anything as I passed. Then, in my rear-view mirror, I saw him slowly pull out. And, then, I watched him passed me. And then, his lights went on.
And he pulled the car over.
I can only imagine what the guy was going to get a ticket for, especially since I really thought that he was going to hit the trooper as he was crossing across the berms and lanes.
It’s nice to see karma in action like that. Real nice.
I was in Los Angeles last week.
And well, it was interesting.
For sure lots of good people watching.
Lots. And lots of it.
Like the woman peeing on a street corner. Seriously, legs spread, underwear down around her ankles. Peeing. In the middle of morning rush hour traffic in the Financial District.
The lesson is, a reminder to all of us, never ever think that any liquid on the street is just water. Odds are that it is not.
Also, think twice, ladies, about wearing open-toe shoes while out and about.
My mother, The Diva, her retirement, is a big fan of the Wendy Williams television show. Because I work during the day I have never seen the show. But thanks to my mother she keeps me updated on it.
Even though I’ve never asked.
Anyway, here’s a text conversation about Herpel Wendy and the show and, clearly, how it keeps my mother worldly.
So… how’s everyone doing? I have about 842 drafts of posts but never seem to be able to finish anything. I could offer a list of excuses but you know, you’ve heard them all before. I am really busy. I am really tired. My house is a mess. My dogs are demanding.
And in those few moments that I do have the chance to pick up my laptop and think about posting, there is suddenly a dog that needs a belly rub. Those little f—ers don’t take ‘no’ very well, and just lay on the laptop’s keyboard, like is there to keep them warm.
I have been traveling a lot for work. Mostly to the East Coast for photography and video shoots. I have a new job – I don’t even remember if I shared that here. Same company. New business group and I am in charge of all photography and video for the retail channel. And thus, that’s why I have been traveling so much.
Speaking of, on my last road trip home, I was driving home across the Pennsylvania turnpike and was starving. I stopped at a rest area, got a personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut – since there was no line there – and I hit the road again. No lie – each of the four pizzas of pizza ended up on my car’s floorboards. I dropped each piece multiple times until they were out of reach, on the floorboards. And of course, when dropping pizza multiple times, most of the pizza sauce was on my shirt. By the time all the pizza was on the floor, dangerously close to the break pedal, I actually looked like I had vomited red pizza sauce.
And I was still hungry.
I had no choice but to stop at the next rest stop, tactfully search for my luggage and made a casual, under-the-radar, unseen dash into the bathroom to change shirts. Of course it was probably the busiest day in the history of turnpike travel and there was a line in the bathroom. So there I was, waiting in line, with pizza vomit down the front of me, on a hot August afternoon in a bathroom line in the middle of PA. I might have well died. And I nearly did. From starvation.
It’s hard being me.
I went into the bathroom stall, when it was finally my turn and came out a new woman. In a clean shirt. The world was mine for the taking. Because, clearly, you’ve met me.
And I got some more food, this time, avoiding the pizza option.
My mom has been great – and been available for dog-sitting when I am not home. Well, except when she abandons us for better offers. I had to take the pups with my on my last shoot but they did great. And, of course, they were super duper cute.
After much reading online at various blogs and DIY sites, I took the plunge and am in the process of finishing up my first attempt using Annie Sloan Chalk Paint to refinish neglected, inherited furniture. So far – its super easy to use and seems to make the furniture prettier than when before. I hope to have before and after pictures to share soon.
Currently, my house is a mess with all the emptying of dressers that had to be done. And, of course, I have hurt my back trying to move furniture. I can hardly stand up right now without pain shooting through me.
Oh – I cannot even recall if I shared – but this past Spring, my kitchen was totally gutted and redone. From the flooring to new stainless appliances and cabinets. I even got granite countertops. The white shaker cabinets go to the ceiling. And, when everything was getting measured, we discovered that my house ceilings were a foot taller than standard. What that means is that I cannot reach even the second shelf of the upper cabinets all that well. I am not sure the added expense was worth that. (I know, I will buy a footstool). Of course, all this remodeling doubled my budget so all I can really do is stand in my kitchen and admire the prettiness, since I had no money to do anything fun other than load and unload my dishwasher. That’s right – after owning my home for something like 12 years, I finally have a dishwasher.
I am pretty much royalty now, or at least I know how they live.
They live with dishwashers.
I still need to pick out a backsplash but that, out of all the things and decisions made, seems too much right now (that and I don’t have the money for it right now). But I want to get it right – something that works with the kitchen and the timeless look and not against it.
Who knows – maybe I am afraid of that final step in commitment.
Anyway – hope to get more up here soon. it’s not that I don’t adore the four or five readers left, it’s just that the days are getting away from me.